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For one thing, modern teens are learning to do most of their communication while looking at a screen, not another person. It may have looked like a lot of aimless hanging around, but what they were doing was experimenting, trying out skills, and succeeding and failing in tons of tiny real-time interactions that kids today are missing out on. Of course before everyone had an Instagram account teens kept themselves busy, too, but they were more likely to do their chatting on the phone, or in person when hanging out at the mall. When they’re not doing their homework (and when they are) they’re online and on their phones, texting, sharing, trolling, scrolling, you name it. Teens are masters at keeping themselves occupied in the hours after school until way past bedtime. The survey results found that Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter and Instagram all led to increased feelings of depression, anxiety, poor body image and loneliness. A survey conducted by the Royal Society for Public Health asked 14-24 year olds in the UK how social media platforms impacted their health and wellbeing.

Young people report that there might be good reason to worry. In fact, experts worry that the social media and text messages that have become so integral to teenage life are promoting anxiety and lowering self-esteem. But adolescence is an equally important period of rapid development, and too few of us are paying attention to how our teenagers’ use of technology-much more intense and intimate than a 3-year-old playing with dad’s iPhone-is affecting them. We know our preschoolers are picking up new social and cognitive skills at a stunning pace, and we don’t want hours spent glued to an iPad to impede that. Many parents worry about how exposure to technology might affect toddlers developmentally. When kids learn to feel good about what they can do instead of how they look and what they own, they’re happier. To help build self-esteem, get kids involved in something they’re interested in.

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Try to give kids your full attention when you are with them, and establish tech-free zones in in the house and tech-free hours when no one is on their phones.

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Parents can help by setting a good example of how to use tech. Then, when their social media identity doesn’t match how they actually feel, they can end up feeling worse. Teens often try to compensate by sharing pictures that make them look perfect, too. It is also common for kids to feel bad about themselves when they see everyone online looking perfect. It can also make talking in person feel more intimidating. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Teens miss out on things like body language and facial expressions. There are key differences to socializing online. Some experts worry that teens are more anxious and have lower self-esteem because of social media and texting.